Pillow Talk Pro Gifts

"Honey, you awake? Rachel? Yo, Meathead. Hey, always-wrong person. Woman who can’t grasp the concept of offsides – you up?"

"Jesus, Mike. Play me or trade me."

"What do you mean it could've been better?"

Sex Score

'Nice guys finish last.'

"Spoiler alert, I've finished!"

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

"There's a conversation to be had around a piece of work I'd like us to do tonight."

"Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that!"

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

"All your throw pillows were in knots."

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

"He's got SUCH greasy hair, and dandruff like you wouldn't believe!"

"Honey, wake up. I had that dream again where I wake up and you get angry at me for waking you up."

"Now can I be in one of your comics?"

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

"But in the dream, ha ha, your family was normal, even that sociopath little brother of yours."

'You're either getting smaller or they're giving you bigger pillows.'

"Now give me something intimate to say."

Imaginary boyfriends are best.

"Was it as good for you as it was for me?"

Are you kiddin'? Those babies are all made right here on the premises.

'Tommy falls asleep in class.'

'Yes, it's very nice. But, that isn't what I meant when I asked you to be more creative, in bed.'

"Where do you to go?"

'The girls in the office said you were very energetic in bed - the lying bastards!'

He liked his communication soft and cuddly.

"One night in a moment of rage. . . I removed a 'Do Not Remove Under Penalty of Law' tag from a pillow!"

'OVERSLEPT? All four thousand of them???'

"You know your dog better than I do."

"Who's God?"

'The keepers will be in soon - we better get back to the straw and bamboo.'

Lawyer, couple in bed - 'Natalie, remember my mother said we shouldn't go to sleep without settling things...'

"Next week is out. I'll be in Houston merchandising my pain."