Pill Popper Extraordinaire Gifts

Getting older is....Getting involved in one upmanship over ailments and medications.

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'Time for your pills.'

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

'I'll see your diuretic and raise you three anti-depressants.'

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

Medication for the elderly

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

Amnesia Clinic: "Take one of these pills whenever you remember to."

'You must take these pills for the rest of your life.' - 'But there're only 25 in here.'

"Sometimes I wonder about what our patients have to take."

"Take one three times a day and come back in 43 years."

'These smart pills are overpriced!"

'This container lists only one hundred of the most common side effects. More can be found on the manufacturer's website.'

Round the Clock

"You folks in R&D really did make a miracle drug. I've never taken it, but I feel better already!"

Wrong pills

"These have severe side effects but they may not have enough time to bother you."

"That's just the meds kicking in."

"They can't cure the common cold, but why would they want to?"

'It's not quite ready. Come back in 15 minutes.'

"Those sinus pills you prescribed didn't work, doc...I put three up my nose every day for a week and I'm still congested!"

"I hope you're not one of those kids who have trouble swallowing pills."

'You need to take one capsule a day as supplement. .. After you reach a certain income level, your body stops producing this stuff.'

'Four thousand packets of the new anti-obesity drug, please'

"It looks like your son has problem skin."

"I'll trade you my pink pills for these blue ones....what do you say?"

"I think they call it a miracle drug because it'll be a miracle if I can get the cap off."

"You'll enjoy the way these interact with over-the-counter medication."

"The tiny one treats the symptoms. The big one treats the side effects."

"These will make you feel like a kid again... especially when you can't remove the child-proof cap!"

'No, you're not developing a third eye - it's just a zit.'

"My goodness, Mr. Merryweather, we certainly did make a boo-boo with that prescription of yours!"