Pig Pen Pal T-Shirts

"He's a phony - made of all those new fat substitutes."

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

Head over Hooves

"He's no hat and all corgis."

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

Hamlet

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

"I know you're scared, but you can do this! Remember that time I had to clean up after you and I didn't have a bag and had to use leaves?! I was so afraid, but I did it…"

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

Juniors Baby Sitting Service.

"No, wait a minute. I'm King. You're Rex."

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

"Well, you certainly seem to have a lot to offer this company, and, of course, the truffles are a hell of a plus."

'Pull...'

'Jurassic Pork.'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

'I'll be honest. Your chances of success are slim.'

Pig philosophy class - 'I'm pink, therefore I'm ham'

Sewee-Cide.

"Well, that's just great! I guess pigs don't fly after all!"

Larry's snout was as clean as a whistle...this made some a little edgy.

'Hand me the 'desperates'.'

Hold on Cutlet! We have to get past Mom's waxed floor!

"Is the slop fresh?"

"Ooooh. Suave, portly, and financially secure..."

Stories about crumbs

Feathered frenzy

"By the way… If no one has mentioned this before, we think you're swell."

Jurassic Pork

A true musician will learn to improvise when his instrument is in the pawn shop.