Picky Daters Gifts

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

'Next, time, we'll meet at my place.'

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

"You're right. This is better than sex."

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

Woman finds sensitive mechanic to date.

"You can come in. But don't try anything funny."

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

Spud dating.

'Romance-minded clown in hot pursuit of woman'

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

'You must be Olivia.'

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

"You must believe me, Jane. I have excellent narrative skills."

"So tell me again where you're from."

"I'm sorry but I can't bring the dessert menu until you at least try to finish your peas and carrots, it's policy."

"It's another letter from Mr. Wentworth. He writes, 'You up?' and then there are some pictures of a smiley face and an eggplant."

Ventrilamatch.com

"Damn. The minute I eat a stink bug, in walks Mr. Wonderful!..."

'...by using lightning and the flesh of the undead. Luckily, he turned out to be a charming fellow and brilliant raconteur.'

'Are you ready to be the winners?'

"In a world of beefcake, I'm dating tofu."

At Saltwater Sweeties Dating Service

"We need to text about our relationship."

"Would you consider yourself creamy or crunchy?"

What star sign are you, let me guess...libra?

"I posted dozens of cat pictures on social media to meet women. Then one dated me and ran off with my cat."