Pickpocket T-Shirts

"These exercises improve my dexterity and, as you know, a light touch is very important. It isn't easy being a pickpocket."

"Talk nerdy to me."

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

'Every war game scenario I've run has you picking up the check.'

A man with a pocket handkerchief encounters a kangaroo with a pocket handkerchief.

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

"Sorry Mr. Gross, Mr. DeVries, but the firm has decided to go with the earthy, down-home fingerpicking of Ms. Aimee Parker-Grossman."

Clarence always halved lots of cargo.

Hip Pocket Editions

The first marsupial.

'Wanna help make sure we don't become an endangered species?'

Bat hanging upside down drops all his money, matches and keys.

'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

"Does it occur to you that the only thing separating us is a basket of bar snacks? And a flimsy basket at that?"

Kangaroo Pocket

Strike Accessory #118: The Picket Sign/Umbrella Combo.

"Fancy joining the mile low club?"

'I see you opened it yourself, but there'll still be a service charge.'

Hi-I'm Dave. Hi-I'm off limits.

"I'll be there in a few. I never knew it took so long to get dressed with cargo pants!"

'Well sure there's a waiting period - it's as long as it takes you to get home and load it'

"It wouldn't have come to this if you just emptied your pockets on laundry day."

"I've changed my mind about multiple fanny packs. I'm going back to cargo shorts."

The Cargo Business Suit

"I'm a breast and leg man, myself!"

'You don't get an allowance because you don't have any pockets.'

"Hi. Obviously, I'm betting everything on the watch."

Closing time, and a man and a woman are checking each other out across the bar: 'Slim pickings.' 'Fat chance.'

"And it has pockets!"

'You're over-packing your cargo pants again.'

Alas but only a few people master the perfect pick up line