Phrase Buff Pillows

I always put my money where my mouth is … but first I convert in into pizza.

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

Cat Burglar

Doggone

Roget's Pet

Malaprop Man! Adventures. Malaprop Man! Where have you been? At a stupor her comet confection! Did many of your fellow heroes show up? We had a great turnabout! Backman and the Incredible Bulk were there! So was Caption Americ, the Flush, Wander Woman and Plasterman! Very impressive. Who was the most popular with the fans? I think I was the main distraction! I have no doubt at all about that!

Early man wasn't exactly enthusiastic about the development of language.

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

'You use Romance Languages when wooing your beloved and Hate Languages during the prenup process.'

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

'I don't know the story of the two eggs.'

"Well %$@#(&!! is not a banned word in the &%Xsing UK!"

"Dad, is there a word that contains all the vowels?"

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

"I’ll do the talking. I’m fluent in deer."

No New Grammer Schools

"It takes me only one drink to get drunk. Its either the seventh or eighth."

Literary rain

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

"Stand aside - I'm a doctor of letters, not numbers, but I'll do what I can!"

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

Dikshonarys

'Sorry buddy, read the sign. That means no ifs, ands, or buts.'

'Try thinking outside the cubicle.'

The Department of People Who Can Still Say 'Paradigm' and 'Synergy' with Straight Faces.

Cheese grammar.

"Hold on, it may not be over… There’s a fatter lady over there."

"I'm going to eat, devour, consume, ingest, absorb and engulf you..!"

"Speechmaking during a pandemic can be unnerving.. just pretend there's an audience!"

Law Offices: Slip & Trip & Fall formerly Slip & Fall.

'And is this young lady your fiasco, Mr. Jones?'

"Why is it always cookies and never crackers?"

'Any chance of a bit of....er...Blue on Blue?'