Phone Store Manager T-Shirts

Aliens man telephone store named ET&T Phones.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

"There she be, lads, the special economic zone!"

"You can't find the menswear department? Oh, I'm sorry, Sir- I was standing in front of it."

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

"That should read $20.00. I'd make the correction, but I don't want to be accused of price-fixing."

SupermarketAwful Market.

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

Sports Memorabilia: Help wanted-losers need not apply.

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

'Gents toilet? Ah, got me there...'

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

Office Supplies: New and improved motivational posters, now with 25% more inspiration.

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

Self-Checkout.

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

"You can't say that to a customer!"

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

"You had the persistence to figure out our complex phone system just to get an interview. You're hired!"

"Ooh look, the high street's evolved to survive!"

"Once you break through the plastic clamshell and blister packs, there won't be any packaging left!"

Brick and Mortar

How much would you take off for cash?