Phone Protection Advocate Gifts

"We installed thick, shag carpet. We got tired of everyone dropping and breaking their phones."

The Anti-Agent

"Too crowded. Let's go."

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

Police Statetion

"Yes, I'm alone."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

Privacy

CCTV in church.

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.

Man in hospital bed, along with ECG, mmHg, being monitored is also NSA.

"Well, Sara Kalen is wrong – Edward Snowden is not a 'tattletale.'"

When travelling with her cat by plane, train, or bus, dawn always ensured no one would bother them.

'I can assure you we take privacy concerns very seriously. Now, on your way out, shut the bloody door.'