Phone Line Comedian Prints

Motel Check-In. Would you like a wake-up call?

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'It's a text from Mike - Sorry I'm L8 B THR in a crrrrassssssh!!! ARRRRGGGHHH....;p'

"You have reached the Office of Status Quo. Relax. No need to listen carefully. Our menu options never change."

Cold caller.

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

'Thanks to his brilliant conversation techniques, Bob had the shortest calls.'

"I'll have to call you back. The cat looks really pleased with himself, and I gotta find out why."

'I won't be taking any more calls today. I threw my phone out the window.'

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

'Can you do anything else?'

Incontinence Hot Line - 'Please hold.'

'I wish to complain about 'Heavy breathing calls'.'

iPhone Senior

'I called Louis XVI and Robespierre answered!'

'Ed's busy, but someone who speaks out of both sides of his mouth will be right with you.'

'Please hold for an eternity...'

"You are number 6 in queue for a song that will get stuck in your head for the rest of the day."

"I'll have my people call your people."

'Sorry, I missed your call. . . I'm either goofing off at the fax machine or telling someone what I did over that weekend...'

"Hey, Tarzan – no need to yell."

"Le roi s'amuse. Now put your father on the phone."

"Operator, get me my hair!"

No Texting

"Thank you for not taking our customer satisfaction surney at the end this call. Now I can be rude to you with impunity."

"One moment, please, while I put you on character building hold."

'Yes, this is us speaking.'

"In the name of all that is good, I cast thee away from this home...leave these people be!"

A baby escapes from a pram

"All right. You can keep it as long as you're on hold, but then you have to turn it in."

Ahab's Last Call.

'Yes we have a J.R. Hartley here.'

'You have reached the Heisenberg Institute. Your call will be answered in random order.'