Phone Call Dramatist T-Shirts

"Her ladyship isn't in—wait, yes, no—so sorry, she's out."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

A man taking a bow

"Yes, I'm alone."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"...is somebody playing Wonderwall?"

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

"Impartiality becomes you."

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

I know they told me not to bark

'Never mind four out of five doctors.. what do four out of five LAWYERS recommend?'

"We can't put you in a Witness-Protection Program unless you actually witnessed something."

Cold caller.

'What's this? You're suing me because the prescribed medication made you 'irrationally exuberant' in a down market?'

"I'll have to call you back. The cat looks really pleased with himself, and I gotta find out why."

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

Closing arguments.

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'Now, then -- would you prefer a speedy trial or an accurate trial.'

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

"You're an attorney. Don't stand so upright."

"I would like to conduct my own defence, m'lud."

"And were you wearing that particular hat on the night of the murder?"

What do overcrowded prisons say about defense lawyers?

'I'm still in conference, Miss Alsted.'

"Yes, Your Honor, I'm Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

"Did someone just shout 'sinkhole!!!'?"

Incontinence Hot Line - 'Please hold.'

'I called this emergency meeting to discuss the lack of respect I've been getting around here lately.'

'Your honor, my client feels you should recuse yourself as he is a cat person.'