Phone Call Comedian T-Shirts

'I won't be in to work today... I woke up with a bug.'

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

Cold caller.

'Sorry, I missed your call. . . I'm either goofing off at the fax machine or telling someone what I did over that weekend...'

'I'm on the train.'

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

“Someone is not muted. I'm still hearing ambient noise. Please mute your device.”

"Yes, I'm alone."

Hello, Susie, it's R

"You have reached the Office of Status Quo. Relax. No need to listen carefully. Our menu options never change."

"I'll have to call you back. The cat looks really pleased with himself, and I gotta find out why."

'Thanks to his brilliant conversation techniques, Bob had the shortest calls.'

'It's a text from Mike - Sorry I'm L8 B THR in a crrrrassssssh!!! ARRRRGGGHHH....;p'

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

'I won't be taking any more calls today. I threw my phone out the window.'

'Can you do anything else?'

Incontinence Hot Line - 'Please hold.'

iPhone Senior

'Please hold for an eternity...'

'I called Louis XVI and Robespierre answered!'

'Ed's busy, but someone who speaks out of both sides of his mouth will be right with you.'

"You are number 6 in queue for a song that will get stuck in your head for the rest of the day."

"I'll have my people call your people."

"Operator, get me my hair!"

"Le roi s'amuse. Now put your father on the phone."

"Hey, Tarzan – no need to yell."

"Thank you for not taking our customer satisfaction surney at the end this call. Now I can be rude to you with impunity."

'Yes, this is us speaking.'

"In the name of all that is good, I cast thee away from this home...leave these people be!"

Motel Check-In. Would you like a wake-up call?

Ahab's Last Call.

"All right. You can keep it as long as you're on hold, but then you have to turn it in."

'Yes we have a J.R. Hartley here.'

'Hello, you're through to the swine flu advice line. How can I help you?'