Phone Call Connoisseur Prints

'If you want to pay your bill, press one. If you want to discuss your bill, press two. If you're frustrated because you can't just talk to a living, breathing, human being, press three.'

"Hello, you’ve reached tack support."

'Excuse me...can you hear my phone conversation or do I need to talk louder?'

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

Men gossiping

'The King of what?'

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

White Wine Wisdom (2)

Bookshop: Our Bestsellers - Empty Phrases

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

...the onion rings

'... Press 7 to admit defeat...'

"He says he's a Professor of Rhetoric but I'm not persuaded."

'You do obscenity very well. Can you talk without being obscene as well?'

'This is our real-time chat room.'

"Hold that afterthought!"

". . . But, hey, man, I just want to say this in all sincerity, man, that you are the greatest, man, you the el numero uno cat in my book, man you. . ."

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

"There's a kind of rhythm to making money that something inside me responds to."

Working from Home

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"She never has a bad word to say about anyone, she's always too busy talking about herself..."

"Yes, I'm still on hold and counting the billable minutes."

"So, have you two been doing anything reproductive?"

"No, you hang up first. No, you!"