Phish Fanatic Pillows

"Thanks for sitting through the encore."

"So, what did you do at charter school today?"

Ghost School.

Meet Me Outside St. Louis

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Horror Stories.

Punk Reindeer

"I finally gave in, I got sick of hearing, 'Polly want a podcast?... Polly want a podcast!'"

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

Gerald was convinced his plants could understand...and dig what he was saying!

"Check out this new store."

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

'I'm a SNOOOW-Man,...doo-doot-doo-doo, doo-doot-doo-doo, I'm a SNOOOW-Man!...'

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

Volcaniax

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

'Oi! Man is not a political animal in here!'

The first microscope capable of seeing the number of angels dancing on the head of a pin.

The Little Drummer Boy.

Football supporters.

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

Music for car stereos

Lazy man contemplates the moment of creation.

Gangsta wrap.

Digital TV presents "It's true there really is a channel for everyone"

Some moss pounces on a rolling stone.

Robert Burns

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

Lesser Known Digits of Pi

Imagine Dragons

'Stop! Don't try to move him until we get his insurance information!'