Philosophical Pirates T-Shirts

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

Thinking Gears

Goldfish bowl on raft...

Emergency Phone.

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

Arthur Schopenhauer

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"You want answers?" "I want the truth!" "You can't handle the infinite explanation of cosmological arguments relating to the truth!"

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

"Looting and plundering! Looting and plundering! There must be more to life!...."

Newton Discovers Surrealism.

The first 'outside the box' thinker.

'See that ant, Norm - He is in a world of his own, completely unaware that he is being watched.'

"Well, once you get your PhD on 'The Return of the Repressed in Early Jacobean Drama', then we;ll discuss how disappointed you are."

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

Self Checkout

Finance piracy

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

'I inherited therefore I am'

"Well, this must be as big as I'm supposed to get."

'You want a pizza with everything? -- Do you comprehend the philosophical implications of that?

"Eve, do you realize that neither you nor I ever had a childhood?"

'It's just a phase they're going through.'

'I don't have a single appointment between 1:30 and 2. Do you want me questioning the meaning of my existence?'

Two books. One liberates the mind, and appears to fly. The other entraps the mind, and appears as a snare trap

Desert Island Books

"So, all this talk about appealing to our better angels..."

'I didn't realize you were so fond of it, Sir Isaac.'

'It's bad news for the cabin boy.'

'I am not, metaphysically speaking, as loopy as you seem to believe.'

'My Turing Machine doesn't understand me.'