Philosophers In Training T-Shirts

"My motto was 'Go with the Flow," but I had no idea it ended up here."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

Thinking Gears

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"One year closer to college!"

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'So what are you studying, young man?'

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

"When I get to Heaven, will I still have to clean my room?"

Arthur Schopenhauer

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

'It's the moral highground occupation force.'

"Daddy, instead of the princess story tonight, can you explain how and why manifest destiny eliminated the American Indians?"

Teacher's sign in Philosophy class reads: 'Think', Sign in Science class reads 'Thunk' as student falls over.

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

Life after death

'All dogs have 4 legs. Tabby has 4 legs. But I'm just a kid, so I don't have to think logically.'

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

"I went back to warn them, but they already knew and didn't seem to care."

Man can levitate but can't hold fingers properly.

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

"OK...for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Idealist'

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"