Philosopher Of Competition Pillows

'There's more to life than winning. There's also getting schools to pay you a share of their ticket and sports memorabilia sales.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"Cash, Jordan. That's what separates man from the apes."

Miss America IQ Pageant

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

"I can't understand it, we did quite well in the first three quarters.

'Was it Nietzsche who said, whatever doesn't kill your portfolio makes it stronger?'

'Come back in two months the meaning of life can change, depending if the market is bullish or bearish.'

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"Management is about more than trying to be better than everyone else."

'Thank goodness we don't need profits in order to make piles of money.'

"Sure, Pop, I see the ball—what I don't see are incentives."

'Looks like I might have to rethink the football idea!'

Coulda Woulda Shoulda.

'Violence solves everything...'

'I will need to watch the replay.'

'It was wishful thinking when they called me 'Flash': I've never won a race in my whole life...'

The Thinking Man's Rugby

"Just fetch, don't ask why."

"And then one day, I had this revelation: Why not go public with my non-profit business and start making some big bucks?"

"It's so refreshing to see someone smile for a change."

'Well, why isn't there a paperweight class?'

'I've been doing a lot of soul searching, Jenkins, and I've realized there's just so much more to money than life.'

"I don't think equal opportunities legislation covers beauty pageants."

'He's just messing with your mind.'

'We've exhausted diplomacy and sanctions have had no effect. ... You have no choice but to get out there and beat the living daylights out of him.'

"The refereeing was only half bad... the winning team didn't complain."

"Who came first...the buyer or the seller?"