Philanderer Appreciator Gifts

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

Fun (circa 1955)

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Big business is not evil

The Scottish Lawn

'Puppies' at that playful stage where he likes to rearrange the furniture.'

Tortured Plank

"Okay, who's the wise guy elf?"

'Whoever wants my job must lift the sword from the stone.'

"Pianissimo! Pianissimo!"

'...if you look at it in the right way it begins to make sense.'

Starving Artist Show has paintings of food.

Man reacts to being goosed. Caption: The secret work of Doberman Pinschers

"I'll be grateful for the small things, and you can be grateful for the big things - that way, we'll have it covered."

'Are we there yet?'

"Santa would like to talk to you in the office."

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'

"Have you got it in beige?"

Foolish Sid turns to look, and is immediately tackled and devoured by the duck.

'There there how were you to know it wasn't Jeremy Beadle.'

"Are you binge watching again?"

Renoir at Yuk Yuk's.

Pete had found his home planet.

'I know where you live!'

"And if you press that one, someone will come in and tell you what a good job you're doing,"

"The money's not all that flash here, but you do get recognition for good work."

'For throwing spitballs in class, I am sending you to the principal's office. It's nothing personal. It's just a classroom management thing.'

"Hi! - We hear that this is a 'nation of immigrants,' right?"

Zorkens in class learning the three Zs: Zreading, Zriting & Zrithmetic.

Antiques, Furniture Stripping, Stripping.

Sword swallower's groin extends as if its the sword

A Drive-By Glutening