Pharmacy Queen Pillows

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

"That new drug causes flatulence."

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

Laxatives - "I'm after some comic relief."

"In school we learned about Staten Island. Is that where they make all those pills you take?"

'Side effects may include....'

Doctors

'I think we should cut back on the tranquilizers.'

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'

'How could it have been rough for you back in Pharmacy school, Dad? You only had penicillin and aspirin.'

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

'Have there been any side effects from the medicine?'

"...but do not take Clynkovix if you are already taking any other drug with a ridiculous name."

'Wow, look at all these prescription drugs that are out of date.' FLUSH 'Happy as clams explained.'

Man sees hug capsules: 'Not to be taken Orally.'

Medication for the elderly

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

'What doctors really write on prescriptions.'

'You're right...these are your hormone pills. Thank goodness we noticed before anything serious happened.'

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

Drug vending machines at hospital.