Pharmaceutical Investor Gifts

"Have you got anything to stop me worrying about my pharmaceutical shares?"

'Now that I have your attention...'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Wall St. or True Love.

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

Will work for ETFs

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

"Invest in technology."

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

'Jimmy Chang gets his allowance in Yuan, and his parents let him buy and sell precious metals...'

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."