Pharmaceutical Buff Pillows

'Half the diabetics were given the new drug and responded well. The other half got a placebo and went into shock.'

'It's a remarkable drug, all right. But with all the contraindications, precautions, and side effects, we can't give it to anyone.'

'I hate it when they wince as I explain the side effects.'

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

A day at the transgenic races

"We need to update your entire operating system."

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

Medicinal plants

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

'Now that you've moved in and unpacked, Higgins, we'd like you to start thinking outside of the box.'

"This is for the pain and these are for the side effects."

Man with arrow in back - "We're going to run some tests to see if it's psychosomatic."

'Side effects may include....'

'Trevor was the first rep at the office to have a portable computer.'

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

'for more obit info, go to...'

'I told you Kimble, you weren't irreplaceable.'

"My self-driving car is wintering in Florida."

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

'Apparently, the next guy has invented a time machine!'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

'They used to be called sheep, and they produced wool. Now they're some sort of bioengineered creatures, and they produce antibiotics.'

The Department of Emerging Technologies.

'...the side effects of this designer drug are more beneficial than it's intended use!'

'If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it' actually a gene-modified flounder.'

'You see Mum, I told you that if I can spin a web, I can do 3D-printing...'

ANd the Oscar for the best special side effects goes to ASTRAZENECA!

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

'I know just how you feel.'

"Fortunately I hold the patent for the gene that's causing the ringing in your ears, and I can refer you to the doctor who holds the patent for the gene that's causing the pain in your ears."

"Doric Ionic Ozempic"

"Relax, I'm only hear to see my osteopath."

Small time farmer sees Superfarm robots next door