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"Ok, here's the problem right here. No candy."

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"I had an Android, then I switched to an iPhone. Then I went back to an Android, then I switched back to the iPhone. . ."

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

'I call it a flat.'

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Bottletrees.

Easter Candy Island.

Bubble Gum Dispenser

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

'It's a snow mobile.'

'And in addition it seems that he has been eating some of the other children'.

"Your shout!"

Can you mumble, mumble mumble? You're mumbling. What are you saying? I'm asking for your mumble, mumble. You're asking for my help? I can't get the word out. Can I get a little mumble? Mumble.

Sharp Eyes

'What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?'

He only had enough money for one, and for the life of him he couldn't remember the difference,

'This cork idea of yours is great! How do you get it out?'

As you like it - One way of catching fish

Time Table

Ask Sadie

Clinical psychology involves observation of patients in clinics and related settings. Forensic psychology takes place at crime scenes. Cognitive psychology uses mathematical models. It can happen at a computer. Ernie prefers to put his patients in the car and drive backwards. Which is? Reverse psychology.

Toast kidnapper.

Prawn Shop

Wine: New and Old.

'Hello, please take care of my ship in a bottle.'

"I must be getting old . . . I crossed over here, but now I can't remember why!"

Custer's Last Rollo

Wise Cracker

'That's not funny, Fred.'

'His dad was a standup. He's a quip off the old block.'

"It seems to me you may be experiencing some form of low-level depression."