Petted Provider Pillows

'Please bow your head and cough. I need to check your hairballs.'

Pet a Puppy

A woman with a dog and a baby on a leash

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"She's a miniature."

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

'They sure have small litters.'

With Wally the hermit crab showing no signs of life, Shirley yields to her kids' pleas and performs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Dog Food

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

Dog wearing a cone around his waist: 'Hemorrhoids.'

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

"Yes, it is a beautiful day but what makes you think you can go outside and play?"

'In ancient Egypt, cats were treated like gods and in this house, it's pretty much the same: Come in friend...'

Landing That Tough Account

"No, I did not sniff you!"

"Tom, did you forget to feed the pets tonight?"

'Word to the wise: Always check the cheese for pills.'

A relevant sign for the shopkeeper's predicament.

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

"Miss Sadie did remember several pets in her will."

"The wings help. Now pick up the bowl and I'll chase it around the room a bit."

'Go ahead, open it. It's a ball.'

'Gentlemen, I've just seen the quarterly reports and believe me, I am not wagging my tail!'

'Quick, everyone back to the center!'

"What's our policy on pets?"

"I won't need a doggie bag."

Captain's Log: Day 3 of Polly's cracker detox was a tough one...

"I'm prescribing a placebo. You'll have to explain to him that it's really working."

"He spoils them."

'Well, Mr. 'Let's get him a fish they're no trouble at all,' you're on.'

'I feel ridiculous!'

"Just pay attention and you might learn a few new tricks."

"My nose isn't wet and runny I think I'm getting a cold."