Petted Provider Pillows

Pet a Puppy

A woman with a dog and a baby on a leash

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

"She's a miniature."

'They sure have small litters.'

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

Dog Food

Landing That Tough Account

'In ancient Egypt, cats were treated like gods and in this house, it's pretty much the same: Come in friend...'

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

"No, I did not sniff you!"

"Yes, it is a beautiful day but what makes you think you can go outside and play?"

"Tom, did you forget to feed the pets tonight?"

'Word to the wise: Always check the cheese for pills.'

A relevant sign for the shopkeeper's predicament.

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

'Gentlemen, I've just seen the quarterly reports and believe me, I am not wagging my tail!'

"The wings help. Now pick up the bowl and I'll chase it around the room a bit."

"Miss Sadie did remember several pets in her will."

'Go ahead, open it. It's a ball.'

"I'm prescribing a placebo. You'll have to explain to him that it's really working."

'Quick, everyone back to the center!'

"He spoils them."

"What's our policy on pets?"

'Well, Mr. 'Let's get him a fish they're no trouble at all,' you're on.'

Captain's Log: Day 3 of Polly's cracker detox was a tough one...

"I won't need a doggie bag."

'I feel ridiculous!'

"Just pay attention and you might learn a few new tricks."

'My nipples are sore and I haven't been outside for days. That's why I'm growling.'

"My nose isn't wet and runny I think I'm getting a cold."