Petal Predictor Gifts

The Daisy: 2005

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

Labor Day Flowers

"Actually, not all roses are red. Sometimes they're white as well as numerous other colours. Also I think you'll find that violets are sort of purple..."

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"Something will fall down from the sky and it will be the end of the world - just because you didn't eat all of your carrion for lunch, my boy!"

"It will be all your fault."

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

The End of the World is Nigh - man with placard

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

'You and I are going to have a long talk when I get you home.'

'You will write a book, but it won't be on Oprah's recommended list.'

Dr. Prebish didn't always fit in with the other scientists.

"Why yes, business is blooming."

Fortune teller describes to angler the size of the fish he's going to catch.

Clairvoyant - I want to divorce my husband. He's having an affair next week.

'Gentlemen--- choose your Pistils!' THE DUEL OF THE FLORISTS.

THE UNCANNY PREDICTIONS OF THE GREAT NOWSTRADAMUS, 'A prominent academic will suggest that females may be intrinsically emotionally different from males... and the feminists will become hysterical.

A self-filling prophecy.

Poll: The World Will End With: Nuclear War, Global Warming, Assault Weapons.

"Let's save some time, shall we?... Yes, no, for about five years, since I was a small boy, yes, I can start on Monday. Thanks, bye."

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

'Well, I'll be darned! It looks like just a lot of the same old stuff from here on out for you.'

"I see you on a beach..."

'Sorry, I don't do financial advice.'

"Any kind of election is getting harder to call these days. . ."

Reading the Leaves.

Reading the future in beard stubble.

2017 glass half full

Psychic: Palm reading, tarot, and lost and found.

Doctor delivers sonogram results, which include the baby's sex, his claustrophobia, his taste for trashy women...'

"Hurry it up, Solomon Brothers are waiting for my decision"

"Your next of kin is going to inherit a lot of money."

"It's a bit of a scam. They sell the crystal ball at cost, then nail you on the price of replacement psych-ink cartridges."