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"Ever since we got the Border collie, he colors within the lines."

"Don’t worry. You’re looking at the Frederick H. Tuttle Middle School long-jump champion."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

Cow Blue Arrows

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

'Big date tonight, but I've just shed an antler: Do you have superglue?'

'He taught me the importance of taking a walk each day.'

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"She's all over YouTube."

"Clearly I didn't think this through."

A Clown pretends to put his head in the mouth of a TV lion.

'Can I have flies with that'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

"Barney! Get down!"

'Pull...'

"Honey, the dog learned a new trick. And now I owe him twelve dollars."

A skinny dog drawn with zen brush.

The Karate Kitten.

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Bear Juggling Penguins.

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

Mice playing double bass

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

'Just putt the dang ball, already!'

"I'd like to drop about 1000 pounds of 'objective evaluation' on his head."

'Well, was the news good today?'