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Pat My Dog $5

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

Codepetdency Counseling: "He won't even sit on my lap anymore."

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

Dog Basket - I consent to petting.

"Rescue someone; rescue yourself"

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

But it's the other leg that hurts.

"It's nice to be wanted."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"He never sniffs my butt anymore."

Pampered Pets.

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

So You Finally Caught Your Tail

"Have you got one that's a bit more pessimistic?"

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

Woman Curls Her Dog.

"Oh, stop whining. We ALL need a haircut."

"Cat got your tongue?"

"I'm referring you to another therapy dog."

'Animal Psychiatrist' (a dog).

'I'm sure he thinks he's a parrot!'

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

'It's good to talk.'

'Now tell me about your puppyhood.'

'See what I mean, Doc?'