Pet Rock Enthusiast Pillows

Joey tries to teach his pet rock how to swim.

"Pick me!"

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

Canine Companion

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"10th Anniversary Woodstock Reunion'

" 'Grrr' is not a word."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

Love Conquers All

"Did you get my tweet?"

Couple sitting in living room reading books while dog reads a book with a cat shaped cover.

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

"He's already getting attached to you."

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

Italica

Pets.

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"The video of you eating my $700 John Varvatos got 300 'likes.'"

Author's Bio-diversity.

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

'Now there's a vet that needs a holiday,'

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

Tina Turner

A mime and his pet parrot talk to one another.

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

"Wish I could do that." "Better give him a dog treat and a bath first."