Pet Psychic Gifts

"A wonderful cat is coming into your life."

They say animals have the sixth sense and the talent to look into the future...

"I wonder if he's thinking what I'm thinking."

Licensed Therapist

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

Dog Nightmares

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"Have you tried biting him?"

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

"Meow."

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

'I'm sure they don't think you're really a bad kitty...just a kitty that sometimes does bad things.'

'I suppose this means you won't be fetching my slippers anymore.'

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

"Mi chiamano Mimi, il perche non so. Sola, mi fo il pranzo da me stessa."

"I can't believe how much I love her. Just look at those sienna eyes and that adorable little nose. I honestly don't know how I'd survive without her." "He has food."

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'

"Actually I never loved you."

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

I hear you, man. Look, if you need anything, my door is always open.

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

The brain of a dog.

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

"Wag your tail just once when I come home. You miserable dog!"

"Putting him on a diet was easy. Just hide a pill in his food and he'll never touch it."

Dog to dog: 'I hate the way pointers are always blaming somebody else.'

"He's sending an instant message."

"And just how long have your felt confined by this 'invisible fence'?"

"I was a dog in a previous life, but I came back as a god."