Pet Park Planner T-Shirts

"Cat park"

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"I was almost that last year."

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

Dolphins playing on a seesaw.

Christmas Pets

'This is way better than a litter box.'

'Well, back to the old drawing board.'

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

'That's the last time I ask you to tie my shoe laces!'

"And your baskets include dead crickets, old socks, mice guts and toilet water."

'...and notice how they like playing with string.'

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

Spider's Web Trampoline

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

'So much for the will! Now, before you start celebrating, I suggest you think about inheritance taxes, because, according to my calculations, you will be left with. . ."

'What does he mean, we're not on the list?'

Kid sheltering from rain inside a vault box.

I'm building a new house here. To my owner over there it's a "pet project." Of course to me, it's just "a project."

'...plus, an annual molting leave!'

Too cute for comfort.

'Halloween. Why should cats have all the fun?'

Jasper wasn't used to dealing with snowstorms before winter, let alone before Halloween...

'To err is human. To really mess up, we've got to do some planning.'

"See? I told you our yard was too small for a swing set."

"We're having cocktails, you should come by!"

"Once I finish obedience school, I plan to stray around Europe for a year."

"Okay, the first rule of rolling in s***e club is no one talks about rolling in s***e club."

Men Parenting

Bedelia was torn. On the one hand, she had never met a man so generous...

"The Lawsons got new furniture. They're having a 'Help Scratch It Up' party."

'You can speed it up if you want.'

'Little girls are still sugar and spice but no more everything nice.'

'Look, I don't know what repulsive smelly thing I just ate, but I know what I like.'

"He's into binge fetching."