Pet Pamperer Gifts

"If it weren't for you, I would have conquered the world by now."

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

'Looks like Santa left something for everyone.'

"The father belonged to some people who were driving through in a Packard."

"Wow! I knew you were rich, but I didn't know you were that rich!"

Dog with lower back pain

"I want everyone to leave the room, except for the cat."

'Cat scans are for felines. I will give your dog a pet scan.'

'You mean you want good communication and competent service?'

'All these years i've been doing tricks for regular dog food?! You're a monster, David. A monster!'

'look at this hotel. They leave a ball of yarn on your pillow!'

Dog Plastic Surgery.

Christmas Wreath on a Doggy Door

Cats reading 2 lists on a wall. Under each list are arrows pointed either 'Outdoors' or 'Indoors.' The indoor list reads 'good food, comfy places to sleep, petting and scratchies, and clean water.' One cat remarks 'To me it's a no-brainer.'

God changes His will.

Dog on man's stair lift

Husband's fantasy catwoman / Husband's reality catwoman.

"Just badly sprained thank goodness... I was so scared it might be broken..."

"I understand that curiosity is a good thing in non-cats."

"14KT white gold, 40.00 carat round diamond, 3-strands and also kills fleas and ticks."

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

J.J. Smithers: Veterinarian and Taxidermist

"Next please..."

"The groomer went a little crazy with the blow dryer."

'Fruits, vegetables, meat, eggs and cooked beans! He gets a better dinner than I do!'

'It's a Richard Rogers design.'

Dog with his own tent.

'Wait! His toy mouse and his yummies!'

'You're lucky you can't read.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'I heard you guys are real finicky eaters.'

Cat is Ruler of the House.

"Go on - they're organic!"