Pet Pals Aficionado T-Shirts

'Instead of teaching me useless tricks like rolling over and fetching, how about teaching me to ride that motorcycle of yours?'

Bitchbark Canoe

A crowd of happy pet owners.

"Pick me!"

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

Canine Companion

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

Welcome to the Team

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

" 'Grrr' is not a word."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

Love Conquers All

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

"Did you get my tweet?"

Couple sitting in living room reading books while dog reads a book with a cat shaped cover.

"He's already getting attached to you."

Pets.

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."