Pet-owning Family Member Gifts

'Next please.'

The Dog Botherer.

'Why do they call it walking the dog?'

"Pick me!"

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Foster failure"

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"It get it – you're hungry."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Yessir, Ben us fly fisherman answer to a higher calling.'

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

'I really don't think mouth-to-mouth wroks on fish, Ben.'

'He barks when he sees the boss coming.'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"Man's best friends."

'Super Dog'

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'He does lack social skills.'

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

"Here's one: 'Youth Frisbee Camp', from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. on Tuesdays." "Naw... Go back to that first one, for 'early chewers', wasn't that one a sleep-over camp?"

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'