Pet Ownership Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Hey, waiter! This homework is burnt to a crisp!"

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Pick me!"

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

Welcome to the Team

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

'I'm not sure which one is the role model.'

Canine Companion

'Works every time.'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"First date hairball... awkward."

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

'You and Rags working together make great dinosaur finders.'

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

Desert Island BBQ

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'