Pet Ownership Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Hey, waiter! This homework is burnt to a crisp!"

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"Pick me!"

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Canine Companion

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

'I'm not sure which one is the role model.'

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

Welcome to the Team

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

'You and Rags working together make great dinosaur finders.'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Desert Island BBQ

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

'Works every time.'

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

"First date hairball... awkward."