Pet Naming Humorist Pillows

You got a shaved poodle --- What's her name? "Lady Do-iva"!

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Scuba cow"

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'Jurassic Pork.'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Yes, one is a dog."

Hats and Food

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

'I'd like to return this, please.'

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

Cats at private view

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

Dogs life

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'