Pet Mischief Manager T-Shirts

"Wait, you've never tried destroying a sofa?!" "Dude, it's so much fun, and harmless." "You've tried catnip, right? Oh, but tons! You have to!" "Cat peer pressure"

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

A relevant sign for the shopkeeper's predicament.

"I didn't say he was housebroken. I said he broke up the house."

'The doctor is ready to see you, Teddy...Bring your handler!'

Sweet dreams induced by screaming cats

Dog makes cats float with helium.

"It's the U.N. inspectors, Michael. They want access to your room."

Dog reaching over top of counter to steal cookies.

"I'm adding the laundry room and kitchen to your GPS. Judging by all the clothes and dishes in your room, you don't know the locations."

Squeaker Trophies

'Tsk, the garden's full of the dog's mess again...'

"Do I make you nervous, young man?"

'It wasn't an easy decision for me to make. Lots of coin tossing went into it.'

"Here it comes, another one of his classic non-apologies."

'They get along beautifully. The dog thinks he's a cat, and the cat thinks she's a dog.'

'You've got it wrong,luv-it's Fido who's the boozer!'

'I guess I should have let sleeping dogs lie.'

'We're getting rid of that welcome mat starting today!'

'Identify yourself - are you one of mine?'

"I'll distract him by pretending to throw a ball. That's when you grab some catnip toys and run."

'No need to ask if you own a dog,Madam?'

'Sure I can guarantee a 3 A.M. wake up call. Take my cat.'

Dog orders cat to bring slippers for master.