Pet-loving Spouse Gifts

Zack Brillard and Live-In Companion

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

"This never happened."

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

'Fragile little dogs are not supposed to enjoy walks in such weather.'

"Your love gives me strength."

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

Snooze buttons for cat owners

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

"Humans are strange."

Pet Entertainers

Dog and family arrive at 'Mount Ruffmore' National Park, instead of Mount Rushmore.

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

Sonata for Piano and Dog

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

State of the Art Dog.

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

"He ran out of pee."

When Dogs Rule

"I'm OK. But I think the dog wants to go out."

"If you don't make up your mind who's taking me out, I'll do it right here."

"Technically, He's supposed to generate more energy than he uses."

'Dog Show' 'Worst breath winner'

'He took a fetching class.'

'They used to call me 'Fluffy', but it's been 'Lucky' ever since I survived the spin cycle.'

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."