Pet-loving Family Pillows

Out of the rain

"Next time, don't rake with the dogs."

'Coming through a pet door isn't as easy as it looks.'

"If men are from Mars and women are from Venus dogs must be from Pluto."

Dog and family arrive at 'Mount Ruffmore' National Park, instead of Mount Rushmore.

101 uses of a dead cat: chopping board.

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'Super Dog'

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"That's where we differ. You'd eat cat food, but I wouldn't touch dog food."

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

Chasebook

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

'He's hoping to get out on appeal.'

"We keep revisiting this leash thing... Why is it so difficult for him?"

'What is it with dogs and the thrill of getting caught?'

"Yes, you were in a breech position, and it was the first time I was really pleased to see the vet..."

Zack Brillard and Live-In Companion

"Yeah, going to the dog park is good, but I must prefer a more intimate walk with my Master..."

'Too old to climb curtains, but young enough to climb on a lap. What's not to love.'

"This is Dakota, Bodie and Scout—And our dog, Richard."

'Mutt is very insulting and definitely politically incorrect, but where do I find an animal rights attorney at this hour of the night?'

'You see, Doctor, we've never had any children...

'He's not big enough to use the toilet yet.'

'In the future you will address me as 'Your Royal Highness'.'

'you just don't get the idea of being a watchdog, do you?'

"You're spoiling that dog!"

Vet's Waiting Room

'Hello, is that Dugdame and Son's, the plumber?'

"He's so old I usually let him do what he wants."

'Go ahead, open it. It's a ball.'