Pet Lover With A Naughty Streak Pillows

"Grandma specifically said not to dig in the rhubarb patch."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

"Lap fish..."

"He was a dog person, I was a cat person, the answer was a ferret."

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

Roget's Pet

Gym Dog

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

Woman keeping a chicken in her room for fresh eggs

Upper East Side Dog Park

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

"He ran out of pee."

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Teacher's pet dog

'Click it or ticket.'

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

Priest with the Pet Devil.

Al's Teachers' Pets.

'Beware of SUV.'

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

'Mutt is very insulting and definitely politically incorrect, but where do I find an animal rights attorney at this hour of the night?'

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

'Oh, that's Corky's way of saying hello.'

Fish in Water Cooler.

Houdini's Dog