Pet Lover With A Culinary Twist Pillows

'I'm thinking celebrity pet's cookery nightmare make-over...'

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

Roget's Pet

Biologists often consult with microbiologists.

Al's Teachers' Pets.

'This refrigerator isn't big enough for the both of us.'

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

Dog Chow Mein

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

"One more question. Would you mind if corporate implanted a chip between your shoulder blades?"

'It's not art - I just overfed my goldfish!'

"Actually, I would rather have a dog. It's just that we need the eggs."

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

"Let's see....Who had the beef brisket dog biscuit?"

"In my family we're forbidden from mentioning my uncle...he made his money with cat food stocks!"

'Sure, it's a nice buffet, but I can't help thinking it's a bit morbid...'

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

'Fruits, vegetables, meat, eggs and cooked beans! He gets a better dinner than I do!'

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?"

101 uses of a dead cat: Christmas decorations.

"As a dog he's incredible. As a chef he's just okay."

Dinosaur dig 'Pet cemetery'

A robot keeps a drone in a cage as a pet.

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"

Archaeologists Unearth Dinosaur Pet.

'Pavlov's dog eating Schrodinger's cat'

Dog Food: Lick & Collect

"How could I refuse to share with a best friend!"

"You shouldn't feel too bad. I think it's remarkable they managed even one jump."

Hitman To Do List...