Pet Lover Satire T-Shirts

'The butler did it.'

Biofelineism

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

Doggy conductor

"Anatomy of a cat"

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

'Well, would ya look at this, Martha? The dog's stealin' our cable. I told you this breed can't be trusted.'

101 uses of a dead cat: rollerskates

Dog responding to his master doing a crossword.

"As I near my 9th life, I feel I’m entering a post-curious, pre-fatalist phase of existence."

'Turbidity is pretty high today, better keep the kids inside...'

'You know that's not what I meant when I asked you to take the dog out!'

"Yes, it's embarrassing, but my master has a broken leg, so this is the only way I can go for a walk right now...

"Don't think of them as fleas. Think of them as your entourage!"

'What obedience school did you say you sent him to?!'

'Just so you know, I've no intention of sharing a home with either children or cats.'

'You can sniff out pet supplies on aisle five.'

Evil clown.

I see you share my hatred for hamsters..

"Who died?"

"Where is the little dronie birdie?"

"You're so spoiled! You have your favorite food and toys and you're still not happy! What more could you possibly want?!"

'Five day waiting period? Man, I need to resolve a conflict right now.'

101 uses of a dead cat: slingshot.

"I'm going out. Do you need any voles?"

'Relax - we'll blame it on Curiosity.'

Irritable Owl Syndrome

Neutering done while you wait: Sooty just learnt to read.

'Can't play fella, I'm a career cat now...someone has to chew the mail and watch that bird...and that pen ain't gonna fall on the floor on its own!'

'They fight like you know what.'

"Yeah, I'm already 24 hours old, way past my physical peak: I need to find a mate quick..."

'Whaddya mean, 'cat-sized'???'