Pet Lover Laughter Pillows

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

Doggy conductor

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

'I'm worried about that dog's hearing,Doris.'

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"I don't think you fully thought out your escape plan!" "Meow..."

"Anatomy of a cat"

'Hey, I just mopped the yard.'

My dog is an honor student at the Curtis Obedience School.

"Well, perhaps 'guilty' is too strong a word."

"We hear you have hair of the dog..."

'Well, would ya look at this, Martha? The dog's stealin' our cable. I told you this breed can't be trusted.'

'This is the last time I take the dog out for a walk!'

"Yes, it's embarrassing, but my master has a broken leg, so this is the only way I can go for a walk right now...

'You know that's not what I meant when I asked you to take the dog out!'

"Don't think of them as fleas. Think of them as your entourage!"

'I'll be darn lad when your mail-order waders get here!'

Cattery and kennels

'Turbidity is pretty high today, better keep the kids inside...'

'What obedience school did you say you sent him to?!'

'Just so you know, I've no intention of sharing a home with either children or cats.'

'You can sniff out pet supplies on aisle five.'

Cat cowboy says: 'That ain't no tumbleweed, it's a hairball.'