Pet Insurance Agent Pillows

We were asked to pay out for a fire started when a dog urinated on a Christmas tree.

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"I need a holiday that guarantees perfect weather, good beaches and romance!"

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

Obama Healthcare.

"Do Mr. Reaper, do you have health insurance?"

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

'A 10M bonus for your thoughts.'

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

"We don't offer a health-care plan. Instead, we have Lou persuade you not to get sick."

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

We can't call the doctor, we can't call the nurse, we have to call the lady with the alligator purse.

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

"Your insurance just called. They don't cover 'having a bad day.'"

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

'What's founder?'

Single Prayer Health Insurance

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"Remember, Mr. Jones, whatever doesn't kill you makes your health insurance premiums go up."

'Make a patriotic decision. Do you want your son to live in a public health insurance tyranny or do you want to let him die as a free American who doesn't have the money to pay for medical treatment?'

"And, for insurance purposes, you must buy insurance."

"Sire, they also want dental."

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.