Pet Auctioneer T-Shirts

"... $3 million, I have $3 million. Can I get $4 million? Yes, $4 million ..."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"It's called 'Sold'."

"It's a forgery―and a recent one, too."

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

"I got it from eBay."

Titanic iceberg auction

The Battle of the Pictures.

Moderne Auction Today - This end up!

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

I think you just paid £5000 for cricket box, not a box at the cricket.

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

'My husband's just getting some ready to show you.'

'Now, what am I bid for this original Ough?'

'Now, a real collectable to bid on: a signed first edition of The First History of the World.'

Leonardo da Vinci painting - $450 million record.

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the antiques roadshow.

'Actually, I'm here just for the wine and cheese.'

"So Marty, how's business these days?" "Great. I've just sold my homing pigeon for the 34th time."

'It sold for how much!'

"The memorabilia auction was a huge flop."

'Stamp auction' WW2 Victory stamps on two fingers

'Sold! $287,500 to bidder #349!'

Paddlithic Period

'Bacon? It's more like squashed sausages!'

' I hear she was quite the collector...'