Pet Auctioneer T-Shirts

"... $3 million, I have $3 million. Can I get $4 million? Yes, $4 million ..."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

An early Picasso painting is sold at auction - it is a painting from when Picasso was a child

"It's a forgery―and a recent one, too."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"It's called 'Sold'."

"I got it from eBay."

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

Moderne Auction Today - This end up!

Titanic iceberg auction

I think you just paid £5000 for cricket box, not a box at the cricket.

The Battle of the Pictures.

'You bought it - you can lie in it!'

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

'Of course, some assembly is required. That's why my bid was so low.'

'Now, what am I bid for this original Ough?'

'My husband's just getting some ready to show you.'

Leonardo da Vinci painting - $450 million record.

'It sold for how much!'

'Actually, I'm here just for the wine and cheese.'

"It's a sad day when we have to sell off National Treasures."

"So Marty, how's business these days?" "Great. I've just sold my homing pigeon for the 34th time."

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the antiques roadshow.

'Now, a real collectable to bid on: a signed first edition of The First History of the World.'

How much for a blueberry scone? $3.25. I'll give you $1.20. Huh? $1.40. $1.45. It's not negotiable. Shrewd. $1.65. $2.00. $2.10. $2.25, but I want free shipping! Ebay addicts. $3 for your sandwich. $6.

"The memorabilia auction was a huge flop."

'Stamp auction' WW2 Victory stamps on two fingers

'Sold! $287,500 to bidder #349!'

Paddlithic Period

' I hear she was quite the collector...'