Pest Professor Pillows

'Okay this test is scheduled for three hours, Fruit fly, you can be excused if you need to die,'

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"Make a lot of money."

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

U of Debt

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

The best PE teacher in the World.

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

Mouse living in a wedding cake.

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"Papi, will you play build-a-model-rocket-so-we-can-calculate-acceleration-rates-and-thrust-levels-for-maximum-payload with me? Please?!"

Westview High School Soccer League Victory Dinner

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

Newton's Cradle Solar System

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

Bearded Leftie.

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

'And from this point follow me very carefully.'

"My husband's the academic. I just like to travel. I'm more of a pandemic."

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

'We're counting on inflation.'