Pest Control Pundit Pillows

'Who needs pesticides? Most of the insects around here die of obesity.'

Farmer's Market

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"Careful. That house has a taser."

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

"Take my hand, my love, and come with me to the cabin, where we can explore each other's naked bodies for ticks."

'Hey buddy, got any bad breath mints?'

Flies up the ante!

'The Hunt family have solved the problem of the fire ants.'

Superintendent

'Call the health inspector! The kitchen has a Brussels sprouts infestation.'

'OK, here are the rules: We can't be seen by humans and can't leave droppings around, otherwise, they'll close the restaurant...'

Rabbits on Noah's ark

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

Priest fighting the Zika mosquito by getting rid of its standing water.

"The white powder is supposed to stop me, but I find it makes the leaves more delicious than ever."

"This stuff worked pretty well on me."

"Did you order takeout?"

'Not that insect, silly! That's my husband.'

"Your honor, my client is a very respectable blood-sucking pest."

A man sprays a bug in an organic foods shop.

'Sorry, but sorting through garbage bins for food is pretty much what the future holds for you...'

'Oh, we aren't disturbing my husband. He's busy with mosquitos.'

'The local rat population are revolting!'

'That must be the termite inspector.'

'Triple your money back! 100% effective against pesticide resistant insects! Guaranteed!

"The people next door eat a lot better."

'Seriously, honey, if there's a bug in the kitchen, just step on it!'

"You, Stanley, are a complete disgrace to cockroaches everywhere."

"I'm no zoologist, but that's not a deer in our garden."

'Yeah, I used to live with thousands of my friends in the kitchen of a restaurant, but for some reason, it was closed down...'

"Yes, it was a lovely meal wasn't it? I used a marvellous new caterer called 'pest control'."

'How much would you charge to kill my husband'

'Thanks, 'two fish heads and a saucer of milk' is the best estimate so far.'