Personal Stories Gifts

"... and the 'black-and-blue' medal is for telling my wife."

Love at First Sight

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"Feel free to take notes."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Silence of the Chickens...

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"We need to stop sharing one set of clothes."

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

Quantum Psychic

Moby Dick

"You're ruining our reputation, Bob!"

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

"Before I fight this dragon and rescue you, can I ask a few questions? Like, do you want kids? What's your passion? Where is 'home' to you? Do you have a financial philosophy?"

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

'Have you forgotten, dear, that you gave your heart to me in nineteen ninety one?'

Tooth fairy

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

'That's my weird Uncle Benny. He claims that he was abducted by aliens in white lab coats.'

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

Man and woman

'Tarzan's younger brother, Ed, was raised by sloths.'