Personal Organizer Fan Mugs

"I'm away from my desk right now..."

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"I've put on a few ounces, but it's mostly paperweight."

Non-Humble Pie.

"He thinks he never makes mistakes."

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

"Who's the new guy that keeps nibbling on my neck?"

'The service is so much better when you dress as royalty.'

Hairstyles

Your job...is to make sure nothing ever gets to this desk

Tortoise polishing his shell

Gah! My Timotei is dead. - 'But what have we here? Tresemme with orange, mango, and passionfruit.' - 'Mmmm... passionfruit...' - '*Glug* *Glug* *Glug*' -

"Does it come with magnets?"

"I was just like you, then I hired a life coach. Now look at me!"

Hole Sale

Smaller shoe being built onto a shoe house.

'Oh, I'm sorry Frank, it's just when you come home in that outfit, sometimes I lose control... so anyways, when's dinner?'

Actually, I really admire him. He pushes the envelope!

"I've been sent to rub you out pal..."

A swan is swimming opposite an origami swan in a pond.

Did our request for different safety hats get approval?

'An occasional table... what is it the rest of the time?'

Rep-Tiles.

'No, I don't think you're a mental case, Mrs Clydehopper. Then again, this is a furniture store, and I'm a salesman...'

'I like making pastry. It gets your hands clean.'

'You've been on eBay again haven't you?'

'When I asked for something woody with a great finish, they said I should try the paneling department at Home Depot.'

"Maybe next time we can go mine our own salt."

"Your condition's not rare, but it's very collectible."

'The ref likes a good clean fight!'

"I see you still haven't mastered the exercise ball."

Big car with machine gun poking through window, bumper sticker reads: Yardie on board.

Paris is baffled - how did the best French secret agent "blow" his cover?

' I don't care if their ad says they stand behind every bed they sell, I want him out of here...'

"Well, then, if and when you do consider moving, would you let us know?"