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WAHHH

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

Jelly I.V.

'I apologize, Mr. Wilson, that scream wasn't very professional of me. . . But that IS one ugly growth on your chest!'

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

Quick! 5-second rule!

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

Orthopaedist

'Well, Mr. Harris, I'm afraid you simply care too much. You have compassion fatigue.'

So I used body soap to wash my face. Why is that so bad? Details matter. Pay attention to your surroundings. Face soap isn't body soap. Conditioner isn't shampoo. Moisturizer isn't hand lotion. If we're ever going to move in together and have a future you've got to pay attention to me and the nuances about my life. Conditioner isn't shampoo? I'm livid and you have stinky hair!

Bird at birdbath shaving.

"I'm having you fitted with a monitoring device that will help reduce blood glucose during meals by automatically signaling the brain to reduce food absorption. It's called a belt."

"I think we feed to many vitamins to Tweety"

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

'What seems to be the problem?' - 'I've got bubonic plague.' - 'Okay... so what symptoms do you have?' - 'Well, I feel chilly and I had a muscle cramp. They're both symptoms of plague.' - 'I hate Wikipedia.' - 'It says here that you should prescribe...'

'Now, don't panic, but I'd like you to take off all your clothes so we can burn them.'

Golf cart in the hospital.

"What is it going to be, a breakfast or shampoo?"

"In hospital I received ten 'get well soon' cards...from the nurses."

"The 'intervention' got out of hand."

"Ok, here's another one about antibiotics. . ."

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

"Please have a seat over by the door, sir - We're looking for a volunteer to examine you."

"If it wasn't for my Hippocratic oath, you'd be dead by now."

"Now where was I?"

"I'd like to request a transfer from the children's ward."

"Can we cut down his tranquilisers please?"

"Doctor, I've got double vision...!"

'Well, Mr. Swine, it looks like you pulled a hamstring.'

'Too many tv dinners I'm afraid.'