Person Struggling With Dieting Pillows

"I try to watch what I eat, but my eyes aren't what they used to be."

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

"Would you like to see today's liquidized menu?"

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

Shrink

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'Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.'

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

'It started with between-meal snacks -- now he's having between-snack noshes.'

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

Gym. Whatever weight I manage to lose here I always seem to find on my way home. Donuts.

'I'm fat, I eat too much and my blood pressure is high. . . Have a beer and some chips but feel guilty about it.'

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

The real reason salad aids weight loss

Woman and scales.

'I'm sick of fast food. I mean, look at the legs on that thing.'

"You forgot my Diet Cola."

"You research diets, then order junk food online. Your computer isn't broken, it's just confused."

'For gods sake get back, there's a triple chocolate fudge cake in there!'

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

The Fat-Free Mayo Clinic.