Perpetual Multitasker Mugs

"So where do you think your son has picked up being easily distracted?"

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"Drunk, yet orderly"

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

Hassled Mother.

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

"I'm returning home triumphant - do you need me to pick anything up?"

Soccer kids texting

"Slowly begin to reawaken the body with thoughts of unread E-mails, piles of dirty laundry, and the kids you have to pick up from school."

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

"We are extremely short-staffed here and you would need to be okay with that. For example I’m the janitor, but I also do interviews in between emptying trash cans."

Magic coat fixing problems while walking the dog.

'It's an audio book: I'm too busy to read books...'

Homeschooling

Mom simultaneously feeds baby his bottle, and husband his.

Studying and technology

"You wouldn't believe how many patients he sees in a single day!"

"These days I do a little sub-editing on the side too!"

Having It All

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

"What?!"

"Everything I needed to know I learned from my mother - but I usually follow up with a YouTube video for verification purposes."

'Who's gonna tell her she's wearing two different shoes?'

Stroller Cellphone

'So you could say 'I'm wearing two hats'.'