Perpetual Adolescent Pillows

"It's not a good time for me at the moment, so I'm going to hang on and transform next year."

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

Do you think I'm sixty?

Empty Headed Schoolboy

Elderly People

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

'Can't you be happy without forever whistling?'

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

Cloud Cuckoo Land, "Sometimes Doris wished that Charlie hadn't stayed so young at heart

"You're only as old as you feel, right, honey? And today, I feel like being 24!"

"If you don't wake up and get to work, I'm going to call your mom."

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

'What do you mean, 'act my age'?... If I did that I'd be dead!'

"If you're going to drink, we'd rather you do it in the house where we can party with you."

"So I figure, as long as I stay a student then I can't repay my student loans."

Another Degree and Deeper in Debt

Strange Aftertaste birthday cards.

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

"I don't know what happened - he was such a good egg."

I always think of old age as ten years older than I am.

"As a kid I was told, 'Act your age.' As an adult I'm told, 'Don't look your age.'"

"I've learned so much from my mistakes, I've decided to keep making them!"

Say hello to Myrna Dinsdale. Myrna finally had one face-lift too many.

'I'm 68 years old. I keep waiting to be an adult. How do you know when you're an adult.' 'When snow ceases to be fun!'

'I've had raging hormones for the last 80 years.'

"You look amazing Dad. Has Mrs Arnold been ironing your face again?"

'Each candle represents a year of you remaining 35. . .'

"Being a post-doc for thirty years can really screw up your life."

'I've decided to stay in bed till lunchtime to see if I feel like a teenager again.'

"Of course I'm young at heart...I had one of my wrinkles pierced, didn't I?"

Four Stages of Boyhood

"I'm not actually 40 this year but that's the birthday I celebrate every year."

"Give it up, Carl. You’ve been dead for six months. You’re not gonna finish the novel."

"I wouldn't let it get to you."

Is that a … um … never mind. Forget I said anything. What? Nothing. It must've just been a trick of the light. Or maybe a stray hair. It certainly couldn't be the faint imprint of a wrinkle beside you eyes. My life is over. On the bright side, maybe a web of wrinkles lining your face will make you look less dopey.